Internecine Iodine

I am hoping that by the silence of the 'crickets' that it means my darling daughter finally found her way to dreamland. I have deduced that the more 'good' times that we have, the harder Sunday nights become for her. For a whole split second I consider "Mommy Dearest" in the event that it would make the transition 'easier' for them... then I come to my senses rather abruptly ("NO wire hangers!") and realize that in itself will bring other issues that are certainly ones that I do not want to be responsible for. There isn't a good answer, there isn't a perfect way to deal with it- we grit our teeth and do our best to make it through.
My Sundays (every other) have been typically going like this:

9:15 pm: crickets chirping (ring tone)

Me: *elated* "Hi!"

Her: *happy enough* "Good night, Momma"

Me: *positive* "Well, have a good day tomorrow and a good week. I love you, good night."

Her: *hesitant* "Ok, momma. I love you, good night."

No problem, right? It continues...

9:30 pm: crickets chirping

repeat above conversation...

11:30 pm: crickets chirping

Me: *sigh* "Hi"

Her: *saddened* "Momma, I don't know what to do."

Me: *concerned* "With what, honey? What's a matter?" (I already know, but...)

Her: *worried* "I can't sleep, Momma, I don't feel good, I don't know what to do."

Me: *sigh* "I'm sorry, honey. Try this, and this, and this..."

Her: *compliant* "Ok, Momma, I'll try.. Good night, I love you."

Me: *heartbroken* "Ok, honey. Good luck. I love you, good night."

this often carries on until 1:30 am, me defeated and her miserable...

As I stated, there isn't a good solution. We are bound to this schedule, this unfairness determined by the court system as 'the most fair'. Naturally, those in suits and ties sitting in big lofty offices are not inquiring the children (who they claim can not determine how they 'feel' yet) as to what it is like for them to constantly flip flop between homes, or what it is like when two parents vary greatly between parenting styles, or how it feels to fear one parent or the others' reaction to a dislike for the situation... these people are looking merely at statistics and revenue and are not looking for the best interest of the children. I am not talking about not liking a bedtime, or rules against snacks before supper... I am talking down to the bare bones of relationship differences between parents. But I digress, I am tied to this position, as is she and her brother, and for that matter, their father... This will probably not change until the busyness of teenageness overcomes them- which will naturally 'settle' them more and give them the 'right' to make decisions for themselves regarding their 'home' establishment.

Until then, I greatly hope that their heart and mine can stay as whole as possible.

Good night, my sweet baby girl, I hope that sleep finds you fastly

and that the morning comes without trouble.