Sunday, with sprinkles please

I just wanted to take the quickest of moments to say how thankful I am for what I have.
I'd be lying if I was saying that it is easy, and sundays with sprinkles all the time... there are days I wonder if I will make it through, or if I have the strength to do anything else, I sometimes feel unappreciated, I sometimes feel worn, I sometimes wonder if I am a good enough mom, friend, daughter, sister, spouse... do I worry more than I need to, do I not do enough for them, for my community, for my part of the world; maybe I am doing too much, have taken on too much? Spread myself too thin.

This isn't a blog about that- this is just a simple thanks to all the above mentioned- and for God for gracing me with this life- as tough as it might be- for allowing me this experience. I am truly blessed and lucky and so glad to have what I have; and for the first time in my life- I feel content and happy and loved.

There is so much more to see and do- but I feel ready to face it.

Also- thinking of you sunshine- 7mths after- it feels so raw, and I miss you just the same.

Comments

  1. NikkiFebruary 16, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    I wore her sweatshirt yesterday. It felt nice. I'm thinking of her too.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Apology & Acceptance: Part I

"It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity. A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologize." --Stephen R Covey "Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves- regret for the past and fear of the future." --Fulton Oursler Regretfully, this blog shall remain bones as I can not give it meat today. My brain is empty, a block sits on my neck- merely sitting pretty instead of being functional and useful... perhaps there is too much I am expecting out of it right now- after all, I only have two sides; a left and right... part of its usage requires general functionality- breathing, heart beating, blood running, eyes blinking, and other 'biologies'- and then work, school, future planning, friends, family, housework, etc... so I guess that there isn't enough free space available. Memory full. I apologize- p
Read more

Skin Itches

What's the use? I shall not exceed any one's expectations, or excel above you or they... ...my whole life has been an 'average'... not drop dead gorgeous, not a genius, not a talented superstar, not an admirable athlete, not an undeniable funny man... just an average-pretty fairly-smart funny gal... B-O-R-I-N-G I was going to take up fencing for this entire reason. I don't know a single person who fences. How exciting would that be? and in conversations- imagine your surprise when you ask; "And what do you do in your spare time?"- I could then say, with total modesty and complete nonchalance; "Oh me? I fence. It's really no big deal; I just took it up for fun really; but I am going to France this summer for the championship. It's rather exciting." And then you would be like- "What? That is exciting. I don't know a single person who fences. You are unique." ... I guess that is what it boils down to. Being unique. Unlike an
Read more

Miles or Inches

Well today was one for the books. I am actually unsure what to type. I am surrounded by love but I feel so alone. If anyone questioned my loyalty, faith, or monogamy to my husband than I challenge them as I can attest that it should never be a concern. I have never loved anyone more that I didn't bare from my own womb. I have never trusted anyone as much. I have never felt as proud as I do for him. I miss him so much and its just been a few hours. I miss him so much that I half convinced myself that this was just a dream. I miss him so much that although I am enveloped in support and love by our dear friends and family; I feel alone without him near. Nothing seems as good, clear, or beautiful without him. My laughter feels empty, my arms heavy; the day and its required duties are just that, required. FUNction... not really so much fun... Of course, I have a rational brain regardless of my heartache. He will return. This is not forever. He is doing a good thing. A service to us
Read more